


She

by niigoki



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, She's the Man AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niigoki/pseuds/niigoki
Summary: Yoo Jeongyeon just wants to play soccer. Her twin brother Hyungwon just wants to play music. When Jeongyeon's team gets cut, her brother has a crazy idea. His ex-girlfriend Minatozaki Sana showing up wasn't in Jeongyeon's plans, however.orthe She's The Man AU everyone asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reward for Doc, totally based off this tweet: https://twitter.com/MlNACHAEYU/status/987419406635618305
> 
> Enjoy!

“Here! I’m free!” Jeongyeon yells from the other side of the field, the sweat on her neck imperceptible over the adrenaline of the game.

Her teammate kicks the ball, making it fly over everyone’s heads, and there’s an entrancing pause as the spectators try to guess if it’ll land on its intended target. Jeongyeon’s eyes are focused like never before and she dashes across the field, jumping as the ball hits her chest. Without even waiting for it to touch the grass, Jeongyeon brings her leg back and gives the ball a strong kick, shooting it right into the goal.

It’s too fast for the goalkeeper to keep track, and the ball makes the net tremble with the sheer force of the kick.

“GOAL!” Jeongyeon cheers first, and soon enough she hears the crowd echoing her voice. She can feel everyone’s screams reverberating deep into her bones and she runs, sliding on her knees towards the bleachers, where everyone is chanting her name.

“Yoo Jeongyeon! Yoo Jeongyeon!”

The referee whistles, and the game, which had been tied up until this point, is finally over. Jeongyeon counts to three, and her team is soon piling up on top of her, yelling in her ear and hugging everywhere they can reach.

“You did it, champ!”

“The prodigy does it again!”

“Our star player!”

She feels like she could fly.

Soccer has always been a scapegoat of sorts for Yoo Jeongyeon. Raised by a family that wanted her to be a ‘proper lady’ in every sense of the word, she found freedom and happiness in a sport famous for its male players. Jeongyeon wanted to prove to her mother that she could be a proper lady on the field, scoring goals and being genuinely good at it.

If only her parents watched her games.

She learned not to care as much, now. As long as Jeongyeon could keep scoring and feeling the grass beneath her feet, she was settled.

Arriving at the locker room, Jeongyeon laughs and plays around with her teammates a while longer. They’re so high in adrenaline that yells echo around the place, and this time no one complains. Some girls bump into each other playfully, others hug, and soon enough they’re all removing their sweaty uniforms.

Jeongyeon moves towards her locker and opens it, the picture of her favorite female player greeting her, like it does every day. She tiptoes and places a kiss on the image, then starts to remove her shirt.

She feels a poke on her shoulder not soon after she’s done taking off her garment and turns around.

“Good work today, Jeong.” One of her teammates smiles at her.

“Thank you, Somi.” She smiles back, but the look in Somi’s eyes tell her that there is something troubling her. “Everything okay?”

The younger girl sighs, her head dipping low. “…Not really. I didn’t want to bring it up right after this awesome victory, but…”

This sets off an alarm inside Jeongyeon. “What is it?”

“The coach wants to talk to us after we’re done changing.”

Oh. This couldn’t be good.

It takes a long time for the girls to shower and exit the locker room, and when all of them are gathered, the coach gestures for them to follow him with a nod of his head. Jeongyeon feels her stomach churn, and exchanges looks with everyone, before her legs start to move.

“You did a good job today, girls.” Coach Taecyeon was a good man and amazing coach, and Jeongyeon admired him a lot. Training alongside him for so long had its perks, like knowing when the news was good or bad. This time, things were definitely bad. “I’m very proud of all of you.”

“You’re scaring us, coach, come on.” One of the girls laughs nervously, trying to lighten up the mood.

Taecyeon simply sighs, and looks down. He has never looked so defeated in his life, and Jeongyeon knows what he’s going to say before he even opens his mouth.

“There’s no point in delaying this. The game today… was our last.”

The words float in the air, somberly. Reality feels so disjointed suddenly, like Jeongyeon was sleep walking, or dissociating on the field. Maybe she hit her head back then, and was now having a realistic nightmare. Whatever it was, she just wanted to wake up soon.

After a silent moment, Jeongyeon hears a broken sob right beside her, and it’s like her world slowly crumbles to pieces. Her hands curl into fists, there are more sobs, and she feels so powerless. She hates it. She absolutely hates all of it.

“What… why?”

“Our last? We’ll never play again?”

“Coach, please tell me this is a joke.”

“We did so well today! Why are you breaking up the team?!”

It escalates. The sobs turn into words, that turn into angry protests, and Jeongyeon feels a thousand things at the same time, but none of them manifest on the outside world. She just hears the voices, and the more the girls yell, the number Jeongyeon becomes; it’s like she’s drowning in plain sight.

“The organization that was funding our team stopped depositing money three weeks ago,” Taecyeon manages to explain after calming down the nerves. “I tried to save this team by using my own money to keep us going, while I searched for someone else who would support us. But I can’t afford it anymore, not on my own. I’m so, so sorry to all of you.”

Jeongyeon can feel the heartbreak in his words.

The silence cuts deep among the team, and it’s like the victory from earlier didn’t mean a thing. The bliss fades, and all that is left is defeat.

“Why did they stop funding us?” Somi asks suddenly, in a meek voice.

The girls look at him, expectantly, but all the coach manages to do is avert his eyes in shame.

“It’s because we’re girls, isn’t it?” Jeongyeon speaks up.

“That’s…”

“ _Isn’t_ it?” She presses, and with the weight of a thousand worlds on his shoulders, Taecyeon simply nods. Jeongyeon lets out a sharp breath, and gets up, grabbing her bag and turning around.

“Jeong, where are you going?” Somi tries, one hand stretched, as if this could make her stay.

“Home,” Jeongyeon spits. “I’ve got nothing to do here.”

And with this, she leaves the gym, a trail of warm tears down her cheeks.

 

\--

 

“I’m back.” Jeongyeon announces weakly, closing the door behind her. No one answers, as she expected – her father was out on the job and her mother was probably gossiping with the neighbors – so Jeongyeon grabs an entire bowl of ice cream from the freezer and takes it upstairs so she can eat it alone in her room.

The coach’s words were still so fresh in her ear, and his nod when she asked about the reason for the lack of money made her blood boil. The world was so unfair, and sometimes Jeongyeon wonders if trying to fight it was pointless. She almost thinks that her mother might have something to do with it; it wouldn’t surprise her if she used her dirty tricks to ruin the only female soccer team in the city.

When she’s about to walk into her room, another door from the opposite side opens up, almost hitting Jeongyeon square in the face. She manages to halt on time, and frowns at the person by her side. “Careful, idiot.”

“Oh, you’re here! Thank god,” Hyungwon, Jeongyeon’s twin brother, grabs her forearm, pulling her into his room. “I gotta talk to you.”

“Let me go, weirdo!” Jeongyeon shakes her arm off his grip, sighing. “I’m not in the mood right now.”

“No, it needs to be now! Before mom and dad come back.” Hyungwon sounds desperate, his round glasses crooked on his nose.

Jeongyeon eyes her brother from top to bottom, checking his clothes, and finding it extremely off-putting the way he’s dressed formally, as if he was ready to go out and meet someone important. “What’s up with your clothes?”

“Pretty, right?” Hyungwon smiles for a moment, but his exasperation returns a second later. “Jeong, please just listen to what I have to say. Please, I’ve never asked you for anything.”

“Bullshit.”

“I didn’t ask you for anything this week.” He tries to fix it, and the way he’s fidgeting with his fancy shirt makes Jeongyeon roll her eyes.

“Ugh, fine.” She pushes him inside with her shoulder, dropping her bag on the floor. With a swift move, Jeongyeon sits cross-legged on her brother’s bed, and eats from the ice cream bowl, unbothered. “Speak.”

Hyungwon closes the door and swallows thickly. “Okay. So, you know how I have a band, right?”

“Yeah.”

“We’ve been trying to sign with this label for a while now, it’s a big one, okay, and it would change my whole world if we did.” The way the corners of his lips start to curl up tell Jeongyeon everything she needs to know, and she widens her eyes.

“Wait… did you…?”

“Yes! Yes, the manager called Hyunwoo yesterday and he liked our music!” Hyungwon jumps up and down on the carpet, ecstatic.

Jeongyeon smiles, putting the bowl of ice cream on the floor and getting up to hug her brother. “Dude, that’s so awesome! I’m happy for you, really.”

“Thank you, sis.” The twins sway on the embrace for a moment, and Jeongyeon allows this hug to soothe her shitty day.

The two of them had never been the perfect kids for their parents, so they had to rely on each other a lot for support and to pursue their passions. Hyungwon always encouraged his sister to play soccer, and in return, Jeongyeon would go to her brother’s concerts and promote his band whenever she could. They were as close as twins could get, and seeing her brother so happy managed to calm Jeongyeon down considerably.

“There’s just a problem, though.” Hyungwon speaks slowly, and Jeongyeon lets go, looking at him in the eyes.

“Which is?”

“…The label is in England…?” The sentence comes off as a tentative question, and the silence that follows makes him want to hide. “Okay, but before you freak—”

“England?!”

“Yes, but listen—”

“Hyungwon, I thought you were serious about this!”

“I am!”

“So what, is this guy coming here to meet with you?”

“No! We’re going to him!”

“You’re—” Jeongyeon freezes, finally paying attention to her surroundings, and that’s when she realizes that her brother’s room is strangely clean and organized. Her eyes fall on some luggage in the corner, and then it hits her; the room looked empty because Hyungwon packed everything. The fancy clothes make sense now. “You’re going to England?!”

“…Yes?”

“Why are you answering me with a question??”

“Stop yelling at me! Look, I don’t have much time,” He holds Jeongyeon’s shoulders in a frenzy. “The guys will take me to the airport tomorrow, I had to pack everything today and I have to tell you this before mom and dad get home!”

“Tell me what? That you’re out of your goddamn mind?”

“Maybe, okay? But, fuck, this is my dream, Jeong! Wouldn’t you do anything for yours?”

The words hit hard, and too close to home at the moment. Jeongyeon drops her shoulders, the memories of earlier washing over her again, and she sighs. Turning back to sit on the bed, she grabs her ice cream, and shoves a spoonful in her mouth.

Hyungwon frowns at the slow, painful gestures. “Hey… what’s wrong?”

Jeongyeon doesn’t say anything for a moment, then lets the spoon fall on the bowl. “Our team got cut today. No more soccer for me.”

“What?”

“Apparently the people who were sponsoring us decided that funding a female soccer team was a waste of time. Our coach couldn’t find anyone who would be interested, so we’re broke. No money, no game.” The bowl on her lap feels heavy suddenly, and Jeongyeon puts it on the nightstand. “Of course I’d do anything for my dream. Hell, I’d probably travel to England if a professional team called me, too.”

Hyungwon blinks, the gears in his brain working madly, and a sudden idea makes him shiver. “…Maybe you don’t have to go this far.”

Jeongyeon looks up at him, knowing that her twin was cooking something in that crazy brain of his. “What do you mean?”

“That’s the other thing I was going to tell you,” He grabs his chair and sits close to Jeongyeon. “Tomorrow is the day I was supposed to enroll in that elite boarding school, remember?”

“J.Y.P.?”

“Yes. But I won’t, because I’ll be in the air by then.” His smile is crooked. “You know what else J.Y.P. is known for, other than being a school for rich kids?”

“Its male soccer team,” Jeongyeon’s response is immediate. “Of course I know that—”

That’s when the penny drops.

“Are you suggesting…”

“You enroll in my place!” Hyungwon’s legs shake. “You pretend you’re me, you get into the soccer team, train with the best of the best, and when the whole town comes to watch your team play, you score all the goals and reveal yourself at the very end of the match! People will _beg_ for the female soccer team back!”

“Hyungwon, are you _insane_?” The plan sounded so absurd that Jeongyeon really thought she was still dreaming. The team breaking up couldn’t possibly be true, but this was a whole other level. “I can’t pretend I’m you!”

“We’re twins!”

“I’m a _girl_.”

“A beautiful one at that, but come on, look at us!” He grabs Jeongyeon’s hand, making her get up so they can stand side to side. “All you have to do is cut your hair a little shorter and stop wearing makeup, literally no one would be able to tell.”

“Are you calling me masculine?”

“No! I’m just giving you the opportunity of your life! Come on, Jeong, you know this will be good for both of us.” His eyes are begging at this point, and Jeongyeon rolls hers to the back of her head.

She sits back down, grabs the rest of her ice cream and eats it, pondering. Hyungwon looks at her, waiting patiently for the verdict that he knows he might not be getting tonight. The plan sounds absurd, their parents would definitely notice, and nothing he said even makes sense—

“Fine.” Jeongyeon says after a while.

“…Fine?”

“Fine. I’ll pretend I’m you,” Jeongyeon averts her eyes. “A boarding school is better than sulking at home, anyway. If you’re crazy enough to go to England, then I can’t fall behind, eh?”

“You’re… the best… sister… ever!” Hyungwon jumps, hugging Jeongyeon tightly, and the girl yells at him to cut the shit out. Her laughter tells that she wasn’t as mad as she sounded, and when their parents get home, they behave like the perfect little angels their mom thinks they are.

At night, when the whole house is asleep, Jeongyeon knocks on her brother’s room once more. Hyungwon opens the door, sleepy and confused.

“Forgot to ask… why were you wearing your fancy clothes earlier if your flight is tomorrow?”

Hyungwon yawns. “I was trying out clothes and forgot to change.”

Jeongyeon has a laughing fit at this, and Hyungwon follows with whispered giggles.

Maybe they were losing their minds.

 

\--

 

Jeongyeon wakes up to a knock on her door. She slowly opens her eyes and realizes that it’s way too dark to be morning. The clock tells her that it’s 4:00am and she grunts loudly into her pillow before kicking off the covers.

Hyungwon is waiting for her excitedly outside her room. “Good morning, sunshine.”

“What the fuck do you want?”

“You need to get ready. Go change and follow me.”

“To where?”

“To your stylist! Damn, do I have to do everything around here?” Hyungwon turns around and goes downstairs after this and Jeongyeon wants to smack her brother. Without a choice, she washes her face, brushes her teeth, and picks the most regular outfit she can manage.

Hyungwon is waiting for her in the living room and offers her a banana before opening the door. “I’ve got you an appointment early so you could be a hundred percent ready to pass as me in school.”

“Who in their right mind is awake at four in the morning to cut some hair?”

“His name is Heechul and he’s very special. I explained the situation and he was eager to help.”

“You have some weird-ass friends.” Jeongyeon eats her banana as she gets into the car, and her brother laughs, driving away. This was going to be a long day.

 

\--

 

“Oh, my lord.” Heechul puts his scissors down and stares.

“She looks exactly like me.” Hyungwon brings both hands to his cheeks.

“Even I am shocked.” Jeongyeon shakes and scratches her head, trying to get used to the new length of her hair.

The three just stand there, with Jeongyeon sitting on a chair and Heechul and Hyungwon by her side, speechless. It’s five in the morning, and Jeongyeon is sure that none of them are properly awake to formulate a cohesive sentence. They all look like the Walking Dead, both in appearance and spirit.

Then, someone’s stomach growls.

“Are you hungry?” Heechul asks already moving to the kitchen.

“Yes.” The twins reply, and that’s the story of how Jeongyeon ate three pancakes at five in the morning in a stranger’s house after styling her hair to look like her brother.

Life was weird.

 

\--

 

“I can’t do this.”

“You can. We talked about this, you’ll do great.” Hyungwon pushes his sister forward because she was trying to bury her feet on the concrete.

The school was right around the corner and when Jeongyeon saw the first students at a distance, all wearing the same perfectly trimmed uniform, she felt incredibly self-conscious of what she was about to do. The boys’ uniform looked great on her, the round glasses that her brother wore made her look even more alike Hyungwon, and no one would be able to tell that she was a girl solely by appearance because of the amount of makeup to conceal her feminine features that Heechul had forced her to wear.

“My voice is too high-pitched.” Jeongyeon tries to find excuses all while trying to grab onto anything in the way that would allow her to stop being pushed towards that hell.

“Make it deeper.”

“I’ll sound ridiculous.”

“You won’t— Jeongyeon, let go of the tree.”

Hyungwon sighs, turns around, and tickles the girl so she can let go. It works, and soon enough she’s being dragged again.

“Now say your greeting.”

“Hey, I’m Yoo Hyungwon. Nice to meet you.” Jeongyeon has no idea why she’s doing it, but her deep voice doesn’t sound all that bad. Still, that doesn’t stop her from shaking on her boots as the school building gets closer and closer.

“Good, see? You’ll do well.”

“Why did I agree to this?”

“Focus on your dreams, Jeong. Soccer, remember? That’s all you’ll have to care about.”

“And grades. Your grades.”

“You’re smarter than me anyway.”

“Why am I doing this.”

“And, here we are.”

The twins finally arrive at the gate, and Jeongyeon is about to pass out. J.Y.P. students are everywhere now, left and right, shining and smiling like the elite, and if she didn’t feel out of place before, she certainly does now.

Hyungwon’s hand on her shoulder is soothing for a moment. “Will you be ok?”

His sincere concern is touching. Despite the craziness of it all, Jeongyeon knows that her brother would never force her to do something that would make her truly uncomfortable. Jeongyeon thinks for a moment before closing her eyes and sighing.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” She turns around with a weak smile. “You have a plane to catch, superstar. Don’t worry about me.”

Hyungwon smiles and the siblings hug one last time before diving deep into the unknown.

“I’ll send messages.” Hyungwon mumbles

“You better.”

They part with a nod and their secret handshake, and finally wave each other goodbye. Jeongyeon turns around, holds the strap of her backpack, and takes a step forward. She thinks about soccer, and soccer alone; that would be the thing that would make her get through this.

Hyungwon waits until he can’t see Jeongyeon anymore, and mouths a ‘good luck’.

 

\--

 

The school is bigger than anything Jeongyeon could have imagined, and the luxury of it all is quite breathtaking. Marble pillars adorn the place, with velvet curtains hanging above huge windows, and the sound of her loafers on the marble floor makes her feel important, somehow.

New students have to find their designated dorm rooms on their own, so that’s what Jeongyeon focus on. She walks along the corridors with a piece of paper that has her room number on it and searches for the dormitories with her mouth hanging open. It’s too much to take in in such a short amount of time. She couldn’t even imagine her brother getting used to a place like that.

Jeongyeon is so starstruck with everything that she doesn’t pay attention to what’s in front of her, and ends up bumping into someone accidentally – this someone is actually a huge suitcase, and Jeongyeon trips on it, making both fall to the ground. There is a yelp coming from above after the fall, and Jeongyeon rubs her head, grunting.

“I’m so sorry…! Wait, Hyungwonnie?” The voice is very sweet despite the bad accident and when Jeongyeon looks up, she sees one of the prettiest girls she’s ever laid eyes on in her life.

One part of her scoffs because this girl really had to put on perfect makeup to go to school, but another one just eloquently mumbles, “Uh.”

“I didn’t know you were attending J.Y.P. too!” The girl offers Jeongyeon a hand with a dazzling smile, and Jeongyeon can actually feel her cheeks burning. Before accepting the hand, she tries to remember who in the actual hell was this girl, and why did she know her brother.

That’s when it hits her.

“Sana,” Jeongyeon panics and forgets to deepen her voice, but she clears her throat and tries again. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

Minatozaki Sana was Hyungwon’s on-again, off-again girlfriend of sorts. While her brother liked her very much, he never truly wished to pursue a relationship with her because of various reasons. Jeongyeon remembered the one time Sana came over to their house, but they hardly saw each other because she was leaving for a game that evening. Once she came back, Hyungwon had broken up with Sana once again. Their relationship was complicated.

“I enrolled as well.” Sana helps her up and Jeongyeon can’t help but to notice how soft her hand is. “I was looking for my room before you knocked my poor suitcase down.”

She says that teasingly and with a sweet smile, and something inside Jeongyeon calms down. This girl had a very friendly aura, and while Jeongyeon wants to keep close because she’s quite literally terrified of everything, she can’t do this without being weird. Sana did think she was her brother, after all.

“Sorry about that,” Jeongyeon playfully caresses the suitcase. “I’m sure she’ll live.”

Sana blinks and giggles. “You’re awfully cheerful for your first day.”

“Oh, uh… you think so?”

“Yeah,” Sana softens her gaze. “It’s a good sight.”

They stare at each other for a moment, and Jeongyeon relaxes her shoulders. Usually, Hyungwon’s girlfriends made this alarm go off inside Jeongyeon – she called it the Twin Sensor for Bad Omens – and she never truly trusted them to be the one that would make her brother happy. Hyungwon had had three relationships so far, and all of them had failed miserably, just like Jeongyeon predicted they would.

Sana was his fourth, and even though they didn’t exactly work out, Jeongyeon had never felt like the girl was bad news. Sure, she’d never met Sana properly, but the way her brother talked about her was different. His voice went soft and he smiled, so Jeongyeon rooted for them to be together for good at some point.

Right now, with Sana mere centimeters away from her, Jeongyeon could feel that she was indeed a good person. There was something about her that ensnared Jeongyeon, making her unable to move.

At some point, she has to remind herself that Sana will definitely notice that there is something wrong about her appearance if they keep gazing at each other like idiots. Averting her eyes, Jeongyeon ducks her head.

“Yeah, well, good luck for both of us, then!” Jeongyeon resumes her way to the dorm, walking past Sana with a little wave of her hand and a nervous chuckle.

“Oh. Yeah, see you later, Hyungwonnie.” Sana mumbles, leaving too.

Jeongyeon ignores everything else after that – she ignores the way her heart beats like crazy, the way her cheeks redden, the way she walks in quick steps without looking at anyone, the way Sana’s voice has seemingly glued to her brain and won’t stop echoing—

_“See you later, Hyungwonnie.”_

When she finally gets to her room, she nearly tears the door off the hinges with the sheer force of her pull.

There are two other guys inside and Jeongyeon freezes on the spot.

“Woah, what did the door do?” One of them, a blonde one, chuckles and Jeongyeon swallows dry.

“Uh… sorry.” She drops the pitch of her voice, closing the door gently behind her. “I was just… you know. Hormones.”

She wants to slap herself.

The boys exchange gazes and laugh after that, hands on their stomachs and nearly bending over. Jeongyeon tries to join in awkwardly too, taking small steps inside. Was she really that funny?

“I like you already, roommate,” The other boy smiles at her direction. “I’m Chan.”

“Hyungwon.” Jeongyeon shakes hands with him.

“And I’m Felix,” The blonde boy smiles, shaking her hand as well. “Guess the three of us are stuck with each other for a few years, eh?”

This simple sentence almost makes Jeongyeon pass out.

This first day was already overwhelming.

 

\--

 

 **[11:37am] Jeongyeon:** okay so

 **[11:37am] Jeongyeon:** my roommates are funny and nice

 **[11:37am] Jeongyeon:** no one recognized me

 **[11:37am] Jeongyeon:** I’m about to go have lunch with said roommates

 **[11:37am] Jeongyeon:** and then have some classes

 **[11:37am] Jeongyeon:** and then try to enroll on the soccer team

 **[11:38am] Jeongyeon:** I know you’re probably on the plane by now so I’m just giving you a heads up of how my day has been so far

…

 **[11:56am] Jeongyeon:** oh and by the way

 **[11:56am] Jeongyeon:** I bumped into Sana

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** and you’re an idiot for not wanting to date her

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** she’s by FAR the best girlfriend you’ve ever had

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** you dumbass

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** thank god she didn’t recognize me or that would be a pain to explain

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** I hope we don’t see each other often

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** or else she’ll recognize me for sure

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** and that will be a pain to explain

 **[11:57am] Jeongyeon:** anyway

 **[11:58am] Jeongyeon:** text me when you get to London, you jerk

 **[11:58am] Jeongyeon:** bye  <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! Enjoy!

Boys eat a lot more than she realized – that’s the first thing Jeongyeon notices when she sits at the cafeteria table with her two roommates, who by now had wolfed down two plates of food, while she was barely starting. Hyungwon was lazy, didn’t practice sports at all, and was never a big eater in the first place, so Jeongyeon wasn’t used to the eating pace of actual healthy, normal boys.

Felix puts his knife and fork down, leaning back on his chair with his hands folded over his stomach. “Man… gotta hand it to this school, the food is a lot better than I expected.”

“Well, for the amount of money we’re paying every month, it better be good. I’m expecting lobster on the weekends,” Chan mumbles with a piece of steak in his mouth. He lifts his head and looks at Jeongyeon in front of him. “Not hungry, Hyungwon?”

It takes a second for her to process that everyone thinks she’s her brother now. “Oh. Y-yeah, I’m just a little anxious and my stomach is weird. The food is good, though.”

“What are you anxious about?” Felix asks, rubbing his belly in circular motions. It’s cute.

“About—” Jeongyeon stops, and thinks for a minute. Would her brother confess that he was anxious about getting into the soccer team? Absolutely not – he doesn’t even play soccer in the first place. All right, would a strong, confident male confess that he was anxious for soccer practice? Jeongyeon had no idea. She’s never had a good male role model in her life, and Hyungwon had always been more of an odd, hipster, edgy teenager when they were growing up, so Jeongyeon had to learn the basics from scratch.

She decides to go with something simpler, more boy-like. “Uh. This girl I met when I was arriving.”

Felix and Chan freeze in place and let out an ‘ohhh!’ in unison, getting closer with teasing smirks. Jeongyeon regrets her stupid decision immediately.

“A girl already? Damn, way to go lady-killer!” Felix laughs, slapping her shoulder with a strength that catches her off guard. She pretends it didn’t hurt.

“Who is she? Do you think she has friends she could introduce us to?” Chan is equally excited at the prospect of finding a girlfriend on the first day of school, and Jeongyeon has to control the urge to roll her eyes. Boys could be so dumb, sometimes.

“Her name is Sana, that’s all I know.” She has no idea why she’s still going with this excuse. She should’ve moved on to soccer practice by now. “She was carrying a big suitcase and I knocked it down because I was distracted.”

“Damn, they always love the clumsy ones.” Chan crosses his arms, huffing.

Jeongyeon actually laughs at this, and it cheers her up a little bit. The boys keep pressuring her to tell them more about Sana, but she really doesn’t have anything to say; just because Hyungwon had dated her in the past it didn’t mean that Jeongyeon knew about her life. All that really came to mind when she thought about Sana was how soft her hands were back then, and how her goddamn squeaky, lovely voice still couldn’t get out of her head for some reason.

Maybe it’s time to change subjects.

“Anyway, guys.” Jeongyeon finishes eating. “Do you know anything about J.Y.P.’s soccer team?”

Felix and Chan exchange gazes then look back at her. “Yeah, they’re the best around town. We were actually going to try to enroll after classes.”

Jeongyeon smiles. “You were? Great! We can go together, then.”

“Oh, didn’t know you were into soccer.” Chan comments off-handedly.

One part of her recoils and she freaks for a second; coach Taecyeon’s words were still ringing in her ears. Every time someone mentions something negative about her relationship with soccer Jeongyeon feels a need to defend herself, using her strongest argument: she’s a girl, but she could kick any male team’s ass. Before the words leak through her tongue, however, her brain reminds her that she’s disguised as her brother, and needs to cool down before snapping at these boys that don’t know anything about what’s truly happening.

If Jeongyeon was going to prove herself, then she needed to keep calm.

“I am. Don’t let this body fool you.” Is all she says before grabbing her tray and getting up, leaving the table before her roommates noticed how white her knuckles were solely from grasping too hard at the metal object.

She was going to get into the team and shut everyone up.

 

\--

 

Jeongyeon forgets that she has to actually pay attention to class if she doesn’t want to be kicked out. In her head, this was still all some sort of fantasy, so she completely disregarded the fact that Hyungwon made her study for him while he partied in London with his bandmates. When she stopped to think about it, it really got under her skin.

_I can’t believe I’m being forced to study physics on his behalf._

“Very well, here comes the best part of class,” The teacher is an old woman that sounds like she could faint at any moment, and Jeongyeon briefly wonders if she should even be teaching. “Find someone and pair up. I want you to do the book exercises until the end of class.”

A collective groan rings around the classroom and Jeongyeon’s heart beats a little faster at the prospect of pairing up with someone a little too observant. She can’t be found out, not now; the timing needs to be right.

She looks around while still trying to maintain her head low, pulling on her bangs self-consciously. People are already finding partners and she’s running out of options. She’s always hated group projects in school, and this time was no different – her social skills weren’t exactly the best around. Jeongyeon closes her eyes for a moment and breathes, trying to incorporate her brother.

Before she can turn into someone else, however, someone pokes her shoulder. “Want to be my partner?”

The voice makes all the hairs on her neck stand up, and she turns around to find Sana smiling softly at her.

“You’re in my class??” Jeongyeon’s question comes a bit louder and harsher than she intended, and she covers her mouth quickly. Great, she was already making a fool of herself.

“Oh, so you hadn’t noticed? I thought you were just ignoring me,” Sana giggles as she sits down on the table next to her, organizing her material. She stops, then looks up shyly. “…Is it not okay?”

And something in that gaze makes Jeongyeon’s stomach flip. She feels that denying Sana anything would equal to kicking an innocent puppy, and she could never bring herself to do it. Sana’s whole demeanor and caring tone pulls Jeongyeon in, and she feels herself wavering.

It’s right there that Jeongyeon realizes: this Minatozaki girl is very dangerous.

“…No, it’s okay.” She still needs a partner, anyway. “I just thought you wouldn’t want to be around me… or something.”

Jeongyeon has no idea how Sana and Hyungwon’s last conversation went, but she figures it should’ve been awkward. They had broken up again not long ago, after all.

“You’re the only one I know in this class,” Somehow, it feels like an excuse. Jeongyeon decides to give Sana the benefit of the doubt. “Also, we’re still friends, right? Or did I read this wrong?”

This situation was one of the hardest Jeongyeon has ever had to deal with. She swallows thickly, playing with her bangs, still not used to the short hair. “No, you didn’t. Don’t worry about that.”

Sana beams again, her smile blinding and sincere, and Jeongyeon sighs internally.

They open the book and start working. Sana takes charge for the most part, which Jeongyeon is very thankful for – physics still made no sense in her head. Whenever Sana asks her what she thinks about her logic, Jeongyeon simply agrees, pretending to know what she’s doing. When Sana gets stuck and starts humming, Jeongyeon tells her to just skip that one and go to the next one; they could come back later to the harder questions and optimize their time like this. They _seem_ to be working like a well-oiled machine. Jeongyeon is just trying to gain some time until the bell rings so she can get out of there quickly.

They do around seven blocks of exercises before Sana puts the pencil down silently.

Jeongyeon blinks, and looks up, but not too much. “W-what’s wrong?”

“You’re very off today.” Sana folds her hands on top of each other, looking at her, worried. “Is everything okay, Hyungwonnie?”

“Huh? Y-yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” _Crap, did she realize something?_

“You’re just agreeing to everything I say,” Sana frowns. “I’m pretty sure I got at least four of these wrong, but you didn’t try to correct me. You’re good at physics. You taught me most of these, remember?”

_Oh, shit. This is bad._

“I just wanted to do as many as we could before the bell rang,” Jeongyeon fries her brain trying to find excuses. “I was going to correct you later.”

“Later?” Slowly, Sana’s eyes take a shine to them. “When?”

“Uh-” And it’s right then that Jeongyeon’s mouth speaks before her brain can stop her. “After classes.”

There is a pause between the words leaving her lips and Sana’s ears catching them where Jeongyeon’s heart does a summersault inside her chest. This was the worst possible outcome – she wanted to get away from Sana, not spend alone time with her. What was she doing?

“Oh,” Sana finally speaks, and the smile on her face is almost too much. “I think I would like that.”

Jeongyeon can hear the knock-out bell ringing in her head; she had been utterly defeated. Without even meaning to, her brother’s ex-girlfriend had gotten under her skin absurdly fast, and all that it had taken were a few confused words and a pout. It was like Jeongyeon didn’t want to hurt her by denying her anything, so she just accepted everything.

Jeongyeon stares a little bit at Sana.

She’s very pretty.

_Hyungwon really is an idiot for letting her go._

“Anyway,” Sana is the one that breaks eye-contact. “Equations.”

It’s funny how light Sana makes her feel despite the nervousness in her heart. Jeongyeon lets out a breathy giggle and shakes her head, picking up her pencil again. Sana smirks at her too, and the two resume the exercises.

Oh, well. There were worse things than talking to that girl.

 

\--

 

“Alright, pansies, listen up!” These are the first words the coach yells aggressively at the newcomers for soccer practice. “Whatever you thought you were getting into when you signed up for this, isn’t what you’re gonna get, I’ll tell you that right now. We take soccer seriously here! We just want the best of the best! So, one miserable mistake from you today will cost your chance to shine in this town’s best soccer team. Understood?!”

“Yes, sir.” The boys chant in unison.

“I can’t hear you!”

“Yes, sir!”

“Good. Start warming up!”

It’s a very hot day, and Jeongyeon sees the tires on the floor. She knows that warm-up routine, she’s done it countless times; didn’t mean she enjoyed them. Without another choice, she follows the boys, and starts running around.

Jeongyeon observes as she goes – the ones that are clearly not cut out for this, and the ones she’ll need to pay attention to, because they’re probably a lot better than they look. She wonders what the standards are for being picked to be part of the team, and focuses on working her ass off to meet them. That was the sole reason she was even risking herself like this, after all.

“He sounds pleasant, doesn’t he?” Chan says as he reaches Jeongyeon at some point in the circuit. They run together for a while, side by side. “Reminds me of my dad.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jeongyeon answer, a bit out of breath. “Even if he is a douche, at least he can coach properly.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“He can,” She punches the air to get some movements on her arms going. “J.Y.P.’s soccer team is the best of the best. That guy is responsible for it.”

“You seem to know a lot about the team.” Chan follows Jeongyeon’s movements.

“I did my research. I just came to this school to play soccer.” Maybe she shouldn’t be telling him that, but she didn’t really care at this point.

“A man with a goal. I like it.” Chan smiles, and Jeongyeon laughs a little.

“Alright, enough of that! Line up, again!” The coach yells after fifteen minutes, and the boys round up as quickly as they can, already afraid of pissing him off.

He turns around and grabs red t-shirts. “Two teams, shirts and skins, let’s go!”

Jeongyeon widens her eyes and promptly lifts a hand. “P-pardon me, sir? I have to be a shirt.”

The coach stops on his tracks, and the whole line of boys stares at her like she’s a lunatic. Jeongyeon can see Chan and Felix making a gesture from the corner of her eye – probably warning her not to mess with this guy. She can’t reply, though, because the coach is already in front of her, uncomfortably close. “And why is that?”

She really should’ve thought about that before coming. “I’m allergic to the sun.”

“Allergic.”

“Very, very, very, deathly allergic.” She wants to bury herself in the ground.

There is a snicker from the guy beside her, and thankfully the coach isn’t on the mood to take anyone’s silly games. He turns to the boy and grabs his shirt, almost tearing it off his body. “If you have time to laugh, you have time to get a sunburn. Get off my face!”

“Y-yes, sir.” The boy steps back.

The coach turns back at Jeongyeon and she’s still holding her breath. “Seeing as we have enough skins now, you’re getting shirt. But don’t get under _my_ skin, son.”

“N-never, sir.”

“Move!”

Jeongyeon doesn’t even nod, and just gets as far away as him as she possibly can. She already misses coach Taecyeon absurdly.

Practice finally starts, and Jeongyeon clears her head from everything else. There is grass under her feet and a ball on the field, and that’s all she needs to get into her element. As soon as the whistle blows, she feels her legs moving accordingly.

The guys aren’t as loud as she expected them to be; probably because it’s the first day and they’re still terrified of the coach, but not Jeongyeon. She’s used to the game, to the pacing, to the adrenaline. She’s not afraid of calling for the ball whenever she sees an opening, and sometimes, she even shouts orders from the other side of the field. Some of the boys listen to her, while others are completely lost. Jeongyeon’s expert eye knows who’s staying and who’s leaving solely by their performance on the first ten minutes.

Felix is a very good player, and the fact that they’re roommates helps a lot. He listens to Jeongyeon when she asks for the ball, and in turn, works on passes with her. They develop a good game flow, and the coach even compliments them when Jeongyeon almost scores at some point thanks to Felix.

Chan, on the other hand, is a bit slower. He’s good at defense, his passes are decent when he can make them, but the other team is always stealing the ball from him. He hesitates too much, and Jeongyeon wonders if his brain can’t process his plans fast enough. She knows that she can help him improve if they practiced together, but she’s not sure that the coach will have the patience for that.

“Chan! Get a grip!” The coach yells, and Jeongyeon sees the frustrated frown on his sweaty forehead.

“Try looking to one side and passing the ball to the other when you get the chance.” Jeongyeon manages to mutter when she walks past him on the field for a brief moment. Chan just nods.

The ball rolls to his feet again, and he can see the adversary ready to steal it. He remembers Jeongyeon’s word and moves his gaze to the left. The guy in front of him smirks, already going left, but Chan’s body goes right instead. He manages to free himself from his mark, and passes the ball to Felix, who runs with a smile. Jeongyeon grins and shoots him a thumbs up, and Chan returns the gesture, happy.

The game goes on, still tied. No one had been able to score yet, and the coach was getting increasingly frustrated.

“Why are you hesitating so much? Stop playing like girls and take risks!”

 _That_ triggers Jeongyeon.

She bites her lower lip and looks at the coach, but he’s not paying attention to her. Clenching her fists, she dashes across the field faster than ever, catching everyone else off-guard.

“Here, I’m free!” Jeongyeon yells to Chan, who has the ball. He’s way too far away from her, but decides to trust her judgement, and gives the ball a strong kick. It flies over the field, and right into Jeongyeon’s chest. Her opponents stare for a second, but soon move to stop her from getting close to the goal – to no avail. Jeongyeon moves from one side to another, tricks the defender, and turns her body in a circle, dragging the ball under one foot with her. When she’s face-to-face with the goalkeeper, she kicks the ball to the left.

The net trembles with the impact.

“Goal!” The coach cheers, and the boys can only stare.

Finally snapping out of it, they run towards Jeongyeon, tackling her to the ground with their sweaty bodies as they cheer and yell. Jeongyeon doesn’t mind the weight on her back, and feels her heart swelling with pride.

She did it.

And she’ll do it again, and again, and as many times as possible.

And she’ll prove to her coach and the whole town that playing like a girl is a goddamn compliment.

 

\--

 

It’s hard to excuse herself from showering with everyone else, but Jeongyeon manages. She hates the smell that sticks to her, and she really wishes that the guys would leave the lockers soon so she could sneak in and clean herself properly, but for now, she needs to live with it. She finds a secret spot behind the bleachers where she can peek and see whether or not the team had left, and waits patiently as the afternoon clouds hover above her head.

Jeongyeon grabs her phone and decides to message her brother. She tells him about the goal she scored in practice, and how the coach told them that he would pick the ones to be part of the team tomorrow. She has a good feeling about her position being secured. After relaying her life, she asks Hyungwon how London is going, then puts the phone away.

With her head resting against the metal behind her, Jeongyeon closes her eyes for a moment to rest. The sun isn’t hitting her face anymore, and she’s still giddy from her accomplishments, so the smile that forms is unconscious. Things were going so well.

A shadow suddenly covers her face and Jeongyeon opens her eyes.

“Since _when_ do you play soccer?” Sana is always finding her somehow, but this time, Jeongyeon doesn’t feel like running away. The girl offers her a bottle of water, and Jeongyeon takes it.

“It’s a new hobby I haven’t told you about,” She drinks as Sana sits down next to her. “You, uh, know my sister?”

“Jeongyeonnie?”

The cute nickname makes Jeongyeon blush. “Yeah. She forced me to play a sport or else my bony ass would rot in my room. Her words.”

Sana laughs, and it’s melodious. “Well, she’s not wrong…”

“Oh, so you think I have a bony ass?” Jeongyeon can’t wait to tease her brother about this.

“I think you have a nice ass,” Sana leans her head against the bleachers too. “I guess soccer is really doing good for you. Your ass is the nicest it’s ever been.”

Well, that certainly backfired.

Jeongyeon chokes on her water, and bends over to cough on the floor. Sana pats her back as she laughs, rubbing it slowly.

When Jeongyeon regains her breathing, she averts her gaze. “That was a low blow, Minatozaki.”

“It’s payback for knocking my suitcase down earlier.”

“Fair enough.”

The two keep in silence, and it’s nice. Sana’s presence calms Jeongyeon down despite the absurd situation, and at some point she turns to face her, unafraid of getting caught anymore. “Were you watching me play?”

“I didn’t have anywhere to go after class, so I came here.” Sana explains, taking a sip of her water bottle too. A part of Jeongyeon’s brain thinks ‘indirect kiss’. “I cheered for you when you scored that goal. Did you hear me?”

Jeongyeon chuckles. “Maybe cheer louder next time?”

“Okay, I will.” Sana puts the bottle down. “I’ll cheer so loudly that you’ll tell me to shut up.”

“I’d never tell you to shut up for cheering for me.”

“Hmm, you did once, though.”

That kind of breaks Jeongyeon’s heart a little, and she wants to punch Hyungwon for being a jerk to her. She didn’t know the context, but Sana didn’t deserve this kind of treatment from anyone, even if it’s her brother. “I’m sorry about that.”

Sana finally turns her head to look at Jeongyeon, and they’re very close. Jeongyeon notices that she never moves her eyes when she’s looking at her – Sana’s focus is always on her gaze, as if she’s staring into her soul instead of her body. She must have loved Hyungwon so much. Jeongyeon thinks that she still does, and feels guilt tearing through her heart even though it’s not her decision to make.

“It’s okay. I deserved it.” Sana mutters.

“No, I was a dumbass. Probably.”

“Yoo Hyungwon apologizing? Scandalous.”

“I know, right? I guess soccer changed more than just my pretty ass.”

Sana breaks into a laughing fit, and nudges Jeongyeon to the side. She realizes that she likes making Sana laugh. Loves it, maybe. Wants to do it again, if possible.

Jeongyeon shouldn’t be doing this.

“There’s the sense of humor I love so much,” Sana says once she catches her breath. She looks at Jeongyeon again and scoots a bit closer. Jeongyeon pretends not to notice. “I’m still waiting for the physics lesson you promise after classes.”

“Oh. I guess I did promise that.” Jeongyeon flinches, because she dug herself a hole and doesn’t know how to get out of it. “Fine, can I just shower, first? I’m still sweaty and gross.”

“Yeah, please, do. I can’t hold my breath around you anymore.”

This time, Jeongyeon is the one that pushes Sana slightly. “You ass.”

Jeongyeon turns her neck and sees the boys leaving the locker, finally. Then, she gets up, and stretches her tired muscles. “Alright, meet me at the study room?”

“Yes, sir.” Sana salutes cutely and Jeongyeon rolls her eyes with a smirk. She knows she shouldn’t, but she can’t help but to reach down and ruffle Sana’s hair a little bit.

“Later, Sana.”

“Later, Hyungwonnie.”

Jeongyeon finally gets her legs to move, and hates how they seemed to be rooted in place. Hates how her body was telling her not to leave Sana’s side, because being around her was healing. Hates how her heart is beating faster than usual. Hates how she’s smiling like an idiot when she gets into the locker and removes her clothes. Hates how she can’t stop thinking about the way Sana said ‘Jeongyeonnie’ a few minutes ago, and hates how Sana didn’t ask her about the reason she didn’t want to shower with the other guys, because she probably loves Hyungwon too much to pry.

Jeongyeon hates how Sana is still in love with her brother.

Or maybe she hates something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next chapter!
> 
> Find me on my social media:  
> Twitter: @niigoki_  
> Tumblr: niigoki  
> CuriousCat: curiouscat.me/niigoki


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with me. Love you always, and enjoy this chapter!

Maybe it was a cruel joke, or maybe just the universe reminding Jeongyeon that she had to sacrifice something to gain something of equal value. Either way, she was absolutely screwed, and by the time she realized what exactly that heavy feeling in her stomach was, it was too late.

“Your eyes are dropping.” Sana says with such warmth in her low, raspy voice – because they are in the library and it’s almost dinner time – that Jeongyeon almost feels herself sinking further in the chair. Her body is mush now that the adrenaline left her bones. “Are you okay?”

“I feel like I’m falling.” Is all Jeongyeon can really say in an equally low voice. Not because of the library though.

“Should we stop studying for today?” Sana closes her book, still smiling.

“Hm.” Jeongyeon nods, then yawns. She rubs her eyes. It’s suddenly cold, but before she can complain, she feels a shoulder against her own. “Hm?”

“You should eat before sleeping,” Sana leans against her as she puts away her notebook and pencil case, almost nonchalantly, but still forward enough so Jeongyeon knows she touched her on purpose. This girl is very forward. “Promise me you’ll eat?”

“Yeah.” Jeongyeon’s eyes rest on the crown of Sana’s head and she smells her shampoo for a bit. It’s sweet.

“Good.” And with one last smile, Sana gets up. Jeongyeon misses her immediately, but is too tired to process why. “Thank you for helping me with homework, today.”

Jeongyeon shakes her head and stretches her aching muscles. If she wanted to, she could touch Sana just by leaning a little bit more. She doesn’t. “Thank you for cheering for me.”

And a giggle is her only response. “Good luck on the team. I hope you get in.” Sana adjusts the strap of her bag and waves a little. “Goodnight, Hyungwonnie.”

Jeongyeon is confused for a split second, then remembers who she’s supposed to be, what she’s supposed to be doing, and why she’s even in this predicament in the first place. And maybe that’s what makes the pin drop – just Sana calling a name that is not hers, with a tone that is not meant for her.

It’s a lot to deal with at once.

“Goodnight, Sana.” The words come out. Sana finally leaves. And Jeongyeon’s knuckles are white from holding onto the fabric of her pants with too much strength.

She let’s go, then drops her head on the table.

She feels like she’s falling.

Maybe she already fell.

 

\--

 

It’s easy to get used to the rhythm of things after four days. Jeongyeon is no longer afraid of being caught for behaving strangely because her roommates were already used to her quirky side and sudden high-pitched voice whenever something shocking happened. Felix called it endearing, and Jeongyeon couldn’t help but to laugh. She felt at home with those boys.

Classes go by quickly. She pays attention to things now, and does well on her assignments, surprisingly enough. She’s no longer pissed off by the fact that she’s studying on her brother’s behalf, since soccer practice pays off in the end.

And hell, that was the moment of the day she looked forward to the most.

Jeongyeon has been doing amazing on the team. The coach no longer gets on her case for the shirt issue, since she’s basically his star player. There have been a few cuts here and there, with new people coming in and unqualified boys leaving the field, but Jeongyeon has stayed throughout all of the elimination rounds, as well as Chan and Felix. Things were finally looking up; every time the ball hit her feet, she felt like she could fly.

Her goal was within reach, and she felt amazing.

“Good job today, Yoo.” The coach tells her after another match, and Jeongyeon looks at him in the eyes now.

“Thank you, sir.”

“Keep it up.”

Maybe he’s not as bad as she thought. Jeongyeon grins, remembering how she regarded coach Taecyeon with the same stubborn scorn the first time he showed up and started telling her what to do and how to move. Now, she missed him absurdly. Maybe she could find a place in her heart for this new coach, too.

As soon as she steps out of the field, she feels an arm around her shoulders as Chan nearly tackles her. “Hey, star player, come shower with us today.”

Things like these are still an issue, but Jeongyeon has her excuses now. “I have to rub my allergy cream on my whole body, remember? I can’t shower right away after practice.”

Chan stops and pulls away slowly. “Oh, yeah... Allergic to the sun and all that.”

“Yeah, it’s really inconvenient.” Jeongyeon has learned to hold back her laugh. “I’ll see you in the cafeteria later, okay?”

With a friendly goodbye and a secured excuse, Jeongyeon manages to escape once more. She’s getting good at this.

What she’s not getting good at is avoiding a certain girl that seems to always know where she is at all times.

Jeongyeon tries to make her legs turn the other way when she spots Sana in the distance, but the prospect of breaking her heart by blatantly ignoring her is enough to make her head spin. She can’t be rude to Sana, no matter how complicated things have become. After hearing the way her voice shifts every time she mentions hurtful things that Hyungwon has done to her in the past, Jeongyeon just wants to make sure she’s loved, still.

And that’s why this is dangerous.

_I can’t keep doing this to her._

“Did you hear my cheers today?” Sana’s bright smile is blinding, and makes Jeongyeon’s heart compress inside her chest.

“I did,” She tries her best to act casual. “Way to go.”

“Good! My throat is dry from all the yelling, now.” The bubbly laughter is sweet. “Want to go grab a drink?”

“I—” There are sirens inside her head, and Jeongyeon’s brain fights against her heart with all its might. “I can’t today. There are some things I need to do. Sorry…”

“Oh,” Sana’s expression falls for a moment, but she soon recovers. “That’s okay. Next time, then?”

“Y-yeah. Sure.” It’s hard.

“Okay. See you later, then!”

“Bye.”

It would be so easy if Sana wasn’t someone who radiated so much warmth. If only she didn’t hop away like a giddy teenager with a crush, if only she didn’t turn around to check if Jeongyeon was watching her leave, if only she didn’t wink jokingly in her direction and blew her a flirty kiss.

It would be easy to not fall for Sana if Jeongyeon was Hyungwon.

But she wasn’t.

 

\--

 

 _“Hello…?”_ The voice is hoarse on the other side.

“Why did you break up with Sana?” Jeongyeon doesn’t even greet her brother.

 _“What? Jeongyeon it’s… four in the morning, the hell…”_ Hyungwon yawns as he speaks, then silence follows.

“Hey, I asked you a question!”

 _“H-huh?!”_ He yelps. _“What… Sana? Why do you wanna know suddenly?”_

“Just answer me, Hyungwon.”

He groans, then there is a rustling sound of sheets as he sits up on his bed, and yawns again. _“We just didn’t work out… I had my ambitions, she had hers… I don’t know, we decided that it would be better if we followed our own paths? We’re still friends, though…”_

“Yeah. Friends is putting it lightly.” Jeongyeon grunts. She turns left on the hallway, thankful for having eaten lunch already, and enters the men’s bathroom. Then she gets into one of the stalls and sits down, locking the door for privacy. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you wanna tell me?”

_“Jeongyeon what are you talking about…?”_

“I’m talking about the fact that she thinks I’m you, and the way she talks to me is anything but just friendly,” She runs her fingers through her short hair and sighs. “God, that girl is still head over heels for you, you idiot. Did you even break up properly?”

 _“She is…?”_ Hyungwon stops, trying to gather his thoughts. It’s hard when he’s half-asleep. _“How do you know?”_

“Just… the things she does. The way she looks at me, and smiles like I’m the only person in the world, and touches me at every possible moment, and always finds me after practice to hang out—”

 _“Oh.”_ Hyungwon interrupts. _“That’s… not good.”_

“What?”

 _“That’s how she acts when she wants to try again…”_ Hyungwon sounds sincerely distressed. He grunts over the phone. _“We’ve been through this three times already. I always caved because I thought that we just needed to figure things out, but… in the end I realized that it would be better for us to stop trying.”_

“Oh, and now I’m her target? You gotta do something here, because I’m going crazy.” Jeongyeon’s left leg bounces up and down.

_“Me? What am I gonna do? I’m in London!”_

“Hell if I know! She’s your girlfriend, not mine!”

_“Ex-girlfriend!”_

“Who is clearly not over you and thinks you’re leading her on again!”

_“That’s— wait, what? Who is leading her on?”_

Jeongyeon freezes. In a single sentence she managed to confess to herself and her brother what she was really doing, and her heart picked up speed at the realization. Sana might be trying to get back together, but Jeongyeon was also guilty of indulging her. If she wanted to, she could sit down with Sana and talk about this in an adult manner.

The problem was that she didn’t.

Deep down, Jeongyeon enjoyed Sana’s company and casual flirting. Loved to see her smile when they met after her soccer practice. Basked in the sound of her giggles when she said stupid things. Liked to pretend she was smart just to give Sana lessons after class on the subjects she didn’t understand. Studied a lot more because of that, too.

She had no idea when Sana became a beacon of light, but she did.

Jeongyeon wasn’t strong enough to push her away.

“Nothing. Never mind.” She feels suddenly exhausted and rubs her face with a sigh. “I’ll figure something out. Avoid her as much as I can, I don’t know.”

 _“Yeah… okay,”_ Hyungwon pauses. _“Just… don’t hurt her? I still like her a lot. She’s such a good person, Jeongyeon.”_

“Yeah,” Jeongyeon closes her eyes and sees nothing but a gentle smile. “I know.”

Suddenly soccer wasn’t the only thing in her mind.

 

\--

 

Saturday mornings were supposed to be peaceful and cozy, with no pressure to wake up early since weekends were free. The sweet chirping of birds on the windows makes for a tranquil atmosphere as Jeongyeon sighs contently with her head buried in her pillow. No troubles, no worries – just sleep.

Until her phone rings right beside her ear.

“Shit—” Jeongyeon’s reflexes kick in and she shuts the device down with a swift move of her hand. With a beating heart, she turns around to check on Chan and Felix, but the boys are still sleeping like a rock. Jeongyeon sighs in relief and rubs her eyes, squeezing them when the light from the phone hits her pupils. There’s one missed call. With a groan, she moves to the bathroom and closes the door so she can call the number back.

“Hello?”

 _“Did you hang up on me?”_ The voice is familiar, but at eight in the morning, Jeongyeon can’t really make a connection.

“…Who’s this?”

 _“Oh, so you don’t even remember me, this conversation just keeps hurting me by the second.”_ It’s a male voice, way too dramatic to be a salesperson wanting to score a bonus.

“Uh… sorry?”

 _“It’s all right, I’m willing to let it go,”_ He giggles and Jeongyeon is still extremely confused. _“It’s Heechul, honey. The one who cut your hair so you could pass as your brother? You ate three pancakes at my house. It was five in the morning, everyone had a blast. Shakira was playing in the background.”_

“Oh,” Jeongyeon finally widens her eyes. “Ohhhh… yeah, I remember you. Hey.”

_“Good! We’re best friends again.”_

This actually makes her smile a bit, and she leans against the sink. “Yeah. Why did you call me, though?”

_“I have a wonderful job, just for you. Are you interested?”_

“Job…?”

_“Yes. It involves you getting paid to kiss girls.”_

“…What?” That was definitely not a conversation she expected to have on a Saturday – or ever, to be honest.

_“There is a carnival happening downtown today. We’re raising money for a dog shelter that is about to close, and there is a certain attraction that needs a certain type of person to do the job right.”_

“…A gay type of person?”

_“Yes! And since you’re the only lesbian I know—”_

“Who told you that?”

_“Your brother. Get with the program, other Yoo.”_

Jeongyeon makes a mental not of smacking Hyungwon across the head once he returned from his trip. “Okay, makes sense. But you’re bullshitting me, I can’t be the only lesbian you know.”

 _“I am surrounded by gay men that are not at all interested in a kissing booth,”_ Heechul sips a drink and it makes some noise. He was probably having breakfast. _“Pretty please? It’s for a good cause. Think about the doggies.”_

“You want to hire me to work at a kissing booth. A gay kissing booth.” As the words come out of her mouth, the absurdity of it all becomes clear. “Because I’m the only gay woman you know.”

_“Yes, good, we’re on the same page.”_

And she’s about to decline the offer, because really, she didn’t have time to think about anything except soccer at this moment in her life. Jeongyeon had already planned to spend this day on the field, practicing all alone if she had to. She needed to prove herself to the coach, get that spot on the team, and make her grand revelation as soon as they had their first official match. Shocking the public with her amazing skills would hopefully be enough to make them understand that a female soccer team is necessary in town.

But then, she remembers – the other thing weighting on her, distracting her from her goal. Just picturing Sana was enough to make her stomach churn with guilt and other complex feelings that were not meant to bloom, but did. Jeongyeon needed a distraction from that too, or else soccer would be put on the back burner.

“…When’s this carnival?” The question comes out as a groan.

_“It starts in two hours.”_

“Okay,” She moves from the sink and turns around to look at the mirror. “I’ll do it.”

 _“You will? Oh, goodness, thank you for saving my life— and the dogs’, of course!”_ Heechul sounds genuinely happy. “ _Come over to my house when you can, I have the perfect extensions for your hair. We’re welcoming Yoo Jeongyeon back and giving Yoo Hyungwon a break.”_

“Hm. Maybe that’s all I need.”

They hang up and Jeongyeon touches her reflection. Hopes she’s doing the right thing.

 

\--

 

“You know what?” Jeongyeon takes a deep breath and feels the fresh air invading her lungs; it smells like grass and sunshine. “Coming here was a great idea.”

“I’m glad you’re happy.” Heechul smiles as they step into the park where the carnival is taking place. He looks around and sees many attractions already happening even though it’s still quite early for a crowd. Some mothers with their kids can be seen scattered across the park, as well as elder women.

The most important thing about all this is that Jeongyeon feels like herself again, and that boosts her confidence absurdly. The hair extensions give her a feminine look, and the beautiful make up brings out her plump lips and rosy cheeks. At school, no one bothered to stare; today, she felt the gazes of strangers trailing her movements as she walked toward the park. Usually she would feel uncomfortable by the attention, but today she just wanted to let herself go and embrace how gorgeous she was feeling.

“The kissing booth is this way, follow me.” Heechul guides her and Jeongyeon just nods with a grin. She stretches her muscles and even waves at a little kid who keeps staring.

She was thankful that the school didn’t restrict the students from coming and going whenever they saw fit on the weekends. She could spend the whole day out and come back in the morning and no one would really bat an eye. Jeongyeon had left a note for Chan and Felix, saying that she had to go home for the day, but that she’d be back by night. She didn’t want to worry her roommates.

Still, with her senses heightened because of her disguise, Jeongyeon keeps looking around the park, trying to find familiar faces. Luckily, no one she knew seemed to have come. She hoped that it would remain so throughout the day, as she kissed lovely ladies.

“And here we are!” Heechul’s voice snaps her out of her daydreaming and Jeongyeon finds herself in front of a chair with a small sign on top, written ‘Kissing Booth – THE L IN LGBT IS FOR LESBIANS’. Jeongyeon can’t hold back a snort.

“You wrote this?”

“Absolutely not, I have taste.” Heechul sounds offended. “Still, I guess it does get the point across.”

“Yeah, it definitely looks terrifying for grandma over there.” Jeongyeon nods with her head in the direction of an old lady who is staring at them with disgust.

“Eh, she’s just jealous she’s not getting any smooches from the prettiest girl in town.” He shrugs.

Jeongyeon feels giddy at the compliment and smiles, shyly. “Thank you. I needed this.”

“I know, sweetie.” He returns the smile with soft eyes, and Jeongyeon decides right then that she would trust her life to this guy who did her make up twice.

Without anything else to add, Jeongyeon bids Heechul goodbye, sits on the chair, and just waits for her first costumers to arrive. She always regarded kissing booths as weirdly sexual and gross, but today she just wanted to forget the girl running around in her head.

If kissing as many girls as possible meant getting over this crush, then she would take it.

 

\--

 

The problem about girls is that they usually wear a lot of lipstick. Jeongyeon had to excuse herself at some point to grab some paper to clean her mouth after each kiss. Her lips felt sticky and weird.

The good thing about girls is that they’re all so wonderful.

“Definitely worth the price.” One of them winks at her once they’re done and Jeongyeon just smiles back.

“Good. Wouldn’t want to disappoint.”

The girl leaves and another shows up. Jeongyeon always starts with a gentle “hi”, and then goes for it. The kisses are nothing but a simple press of lips, but still make her a little nervous.

Some girls are a jittery mess when they get there, others are ready to take it all – Jeongyeon had to politely push a few away a couple of times. Whenever it happened, however, they would always apologize and ask for her number. Jeongyeon couldn’t give it to any of them, but appreciated the gesture.

Her self-esteem was up there today.

“H-hey.” Another girl sits on the chair in front of her. She’s all shy smiles and sweaty palms, and Jeongyeon tries her best to let her feel at ease.

“Hi. Don’t need to be nervous.”

“It’s just… it’s my first kiss.” The girl lets out a breathy laugh and Jeongyeon suddenly feels really pressured.

“Oh,” She thinks for a second and reaches out to grab the girl’s hands. “It won’t be amazing, but… I hope you get a good one after this.”

The girl just nods, looking at everywhere but Jeongyeon. Then, she closes her eyes and puckers her lips. Jeongyeon leans in, and they kiss.

The girl pulls away way too quickly, the touch startling her. “O-oh, sorry! I… can we do it again?”

Jeongyeon squeezes her hands, apologetically. “Sorry… I’m just allowed one kiss per person.”

“I see…” The girl sounds defeated.

“Hey, don’t be disappointed. Your first kiss shouldn’t be like this. It should be with someone you genuinely like. Don’t force yourself to have your first kiss just because all of your friends already had theirs, okay?”

Her words seem to touch the girl in some way, because the smile that breaks on her face is honest and grateful. “You’re right. Thank you, um…”

“Jeongyeon,” She winks. “But don’t tell anyone. I’m not supposed to talk this much with people.”

“Jeongyeon. Thank you so much.” And with that, the girl gets up and finally leaves, waving goodbye.

Jeongyeon waves back. She feels good about giving the girl advice; she wished someone had done the same to her when she was younger. Her first kiss was with a random boy in the middle of a truth or dare game, and it sucked astronomically. Now that she thinks about it, it was also the day she figured out that boys were definitely not her thing. Maybe it was a good thing, in the end.

After her little trip down memory lane, Jeongyeon turns around to call for the next girl in line. Before she can say anything, the girl is already sitting in front of her.

Jeongyeon never felt her stomach dropping so fast.

“Sa—” Her brain, in a miraculous moment, reminds her that she’s not Hyungwon right now. Biting her tongue, she tries again. “Y-you’re Sana, right?”

“Hm? How do you…” Sana frowns and tilts her head to the side, analyzing Jeongyeon’s features, and finally sits up straight when she figures out who she is. “Oh, Jeongyeonnie! Hyungwonnie’s sister, right?”

“Y-yeah, that’s me. I remember you coming over once or twice.”

“Oh, my… this is awkward.” Sana scratches her neck, a visible blush on her cheeks. “I had no idea you were the one doing the whole kissing booth thing.”

“It was a last moment decision.” Jeongyeon tries to laugh, but her heartbeat betrays her. Then, another realization hits her. “Hold on, you knew that you signed up for kissing a girl, right?”

“Yes.”

“But… didn’t you date my brother…?”

“Yes, Jeongyeonnie. Contrary to popular belief, The B in LGBT doesn’t stand for Bread.” Sana giggles as she speaks, and it’s that giggle that does _things_ to Jeongyeon. She feels like an idiot.

“Shit, you’re right. I’m sorry for assuming…”

“It’s okay. I’m used to it.” Sana bites her lower lip and looks away. “I’m more concerned about the fact that I’m going to kiss my ex-boyfriend’s sister. That’s just really weird.” Then, she looks up at Jeongyeon again. “…Right?”

And that tone could mean so many things. The way she looks at her, with both anticipation and insecurity, with her chin slightly tilted upwards – Jeongyeon doesn’t know what she wants, but she knows that Sana doesn’t deserve a single bad thing happening to her. Hyungwon wasn’t interested anymore, but Sana thought he was because of Jeongyeon’s actions in school. This was breaking her heart more and more each day, and she had no idea how to make the guilt stop.

Jeongyeon was going crazy.

“I don’t know,” She finally answers. Then she leans a bit closer. “Life is just really weird.”

Sana’s eyes travel from Jeongyeon’s eyes to her nose, then her lips. She suddenly goes out of focus, and Jeongyeon realizes that it’s because they’re too close to each other. She closes her eyes and throws herself into the unknown.

Softness is the first thing that comes to mind when Sana’s lips cover hers. Then a sweet smell – her shampoo. The lips that were supposed to stay still move automatically, and Jeongyeon doesn’t fight it. Sana accompanies the movement with her own mouth, a shuddering breath hitting Jeongyeon’s skin.

Jeongyeon counts (she wasn’t supposed to go over seven seconds), but gets lost on the fifth second when Sana moves to kiss her better, her nose sliding against her cheek. Time seems to slow down and Jeongyeon gently captures Sana’s lower lip in between her own. She hears a tiny groan. Wants to hear it again.

“Hey, don’t hog her all up to yourself!” A sudden voice coming from the line breaks the spell and Jeongyeon pulls away quickly.

Sana leans back as well, flushed cheeks and heavy breaths. She tries to smile as she runs her fingers through her long, beautiful hair. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to— I’m…” She gets up in a hurry. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t…” Jeongyeon wants to tell her not to apologize, but the words get stuck in her throat. Sana leaves then, without looking behind. Jeongyeon follows her with her gaze, her head spinning and her chest heavy.

She doesn’t even have the time to sink into the feeling, because another girl is waiting. Then another, and another. Jeongyeon kisses different lips and interacts with different girls, but everything sounds muffled now, like she’s suddenly under water. Her body reacts automatically to situations, but her head is elsewhere. Floating above the clouds, waiting to come down at some point.

When the kissing booth finally closes, Heechul comes pick her up for lunch. Jeongyeon follows him to a restaurant, thanks him when he offers to pay for the meal, and eats with unfocused eyes.

In the afternoon, they go back to the carnival to enjoy the rest of the day. Jeongyeon doesn’t have to kiss anyone anymore. She couldn’t, even if she had to.

She doesn’t even realize when the sun sets. Heechul brings her to his home after the carnival so he can give her the promised payment and transform her back into Hyungwon. She sits there like a robot, waiting for the hair extensions and make up to be removed. Once they’re done, Heechul drops her off at school again. He says goodbye, maybe. She can’t really remember.

Chan and Felix aren’t in their room when she arrives. Jeongyeon puts her bag under the bed, and throws her body on the mattress. She looks up to the ceiling. It’s familiar by now.

Only then, her soul comes back to her body, and she feels an explosion of colors inside her. Her face contorts into an unwanted expression – she can’t control it. The smile makes her cheeks hurt, so Jeongyeon turns around and buries her face in her pillow to stop this uncontrollable urge to yell to the heavens.

She shouldn’t. She knows that.

But she falls.

She lets out a muffled, absurdly happy yell into her pillow.

And her brain screams _‘Sana, Sana, Sana.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next chapter!
> 
> Find me on my social media:  
> Twitter: @niigoki_  
> Tumblr: niigoki  
> CuriousCat: curiouscat.me/niigoki

**Author's Note:**

> See you next chapter!
> 
> Find me on my social media:  
> Twitter: @niigoki_  
> Tumblr: niigoki  
> CuriousCat: curiouscat.me/niigoki


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